Last night it rained really bad.. :( but thankfully I slept through most of it.. Around midnight tho after I was all ready to sleep my new room mate shows up.. So, I ended up going to bed at 2 leaving me exhausted all day today.. Thankfully I was able to work past my exhaustion ok..
Rusti is pretty nice in the matter of no more random missions 4 me... Not so far.. :) I always know for a day or two in advance before having to go out and most of the times it's only for meetings or to go to town etc.. :) Been fun so far..
The bummer mood comes from letting to much personal stuff affect my life... Dwelling on the Past etc.. Not all that healthy sometimes but sometimes necessary so u learn from it..
Anyways.. Hopefully we get outta here soon..
And Titus.. Good move growing your hair out. I think it looks good, and I think I'll grow mine out myself (if I can anymore) as soon as I can grow it out... :) ie: out of the army
And also send me the info i'll need to sign up 4 that game.. I wouldn't mind playing another online game.. Getting tired of WOW.. (world of warcraft)
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It's cold and rainy here in Houston too. we are all hiding inside too. I think the winter is on it's way out though. The garden inhabitants think so too. The vines with yellow flowers are bursting forth like crazy and frustrating the poor mailman as he has to search to find the mail box.
Take care and find cheer in life! It really is everywhere- just harder to find in some places. Search for it and enjoy the hunt!
Don't get caught in the analization web. It's a snare to the soul!
So much for the wee words of wisdom from a elderly mom.
My dear Tim,
Hello there guy! I have heard it said that if you think life sucks or, if you think life it terrific, it is. It just comes down to your perspective and frame of mind. You are as happy and as at peace as you choose to be. I know that may sound trite, but it does work. I will tell you a story from my own life.
One day I way pretty down. I had been divorced for more than ten years and I had not had my kids living with me for sooo long. It seemed that my life was so empty. Well, I was just feeling pretty punished and very, very lonely. I couldn't understand why God would let this happen to me. I know that I am basically a nice person and i thought I had a good heart. So then, why was I being punished so harshly, especially by not having custody of my kids. Anyway, I realized that I hadn't felt joy in such a long time. I even wondered if I ever would experience that feeling agian. If my life was just destined to be mediocre, was it even really worth living? Nothing more to feel than just blahhhh or even worse, just sadness and depression. Suddenly, I just decided to say a prayer. I closed my eyes and asked God to please send some "joy" into my life. Not just happiness, but true "Joy!" Immediately, my heart soared! It was indeed filled with JOY! But it wasn't at all what I would have ever expected or thought God would send. Frankly, I thought God would send me a mate: a man who would love me or maybe something great would happen to change my life. Maybe I would win the Lotto. Maybe I would be appointed to a great position. Maybe I would get a great case and become famous. No, that wasn't it at all. What happened was totally unexpected yet still very amazing. You see, what I felt was an overwhelming feeling of JOy because I knew, absolutly in my heartm that that God was with me, right that moment, and that he loved me totally, that he loved me unconditionally, and that He would always love me just like that from the day I was born until the day I died...and even longer. Knowing that God loved me unconditionally, for exactly who I was, regardless of my faults and my obvious flaws, released all the tension I held inside me. I knew, from that moment on, that God had and would always want only the best for me. That He never had and never would focus on my flaws or my mistakes. That He reveled in my successes and in my potential. He wanted me to know that He believed in Me, every moment of every single day. It didn't matter if I made mistake after mistake: He still loved me. What was important was not how many times I fell down, but it was how many times I got back up. As the Chineese say, "Fall down nine times, get up ten." And each and every time, God would patiently reach down and gently help me back up, lovingly reassurring me that everything was already alright. I was perfect just as I was, just as I had been, from the moment I was born. I knew, from that moment on that God would never, ever leave me, no matter what I did or thought and not even if I tried to force Him out of my life. Once I felt that unconditional love....that unfailing protection and undying support....I knew and will always feel true JOY!!! When ever I remember that moment, I can't help but react with a great bBIG SMILE!! So, you need to do the same. Don't dwell upon the past. It cannot be changed. The sad times are times of lapses in faith or attacks by the enemy. Those times and the memories of them that sometimes return to haunt us, were not born of love. The people who dwell in those time are not nurturing nor are they trying to lift us up or help us heal. They are hurting and do not want to heal...they want to blame. They are not trying to become their full potential...they are afraid of their wonderful, potential glory...the promise of what they are destined to be, so they hide from the light in the wounds and scars which should make them more resiliant, but instead make them more callous. then they used these scars, not as strength but as excuses for not claiming thier true greatness. for not becomming the child of God that he wants them to be. You, for example, are temporarily living in hell. Many would say that you have the right to leave this tour in hell and live the rest of your life, a scarred and mangled soul, angry at God and the world because you were made to suffer these atrocities. Or you can choose otherwise. You can take these experiences, also, no doubt, a tour in Hell, and use the strength you have and will continue to gain from these experiences to show that Love of God and love of mankind is not smothered by death and unholy wars. You can love and teach from a position of undeniable strength. It will give your message great power. In some ways you are like baby Valorie. She too is destined to live in Hell. Her's, unfortunately, is a Hell not of her own choosing. However, she chooses not to sucumb: not to live in hate and bitterness. Not to steep in resentment, crying out only, "Why me?" She simply chooses to live! Each day and every day, as happily as she can, for as long as she can, as fully as she can. And she accepts nothing less. She needs all of our love, mine as well as yours. And God's. And she has it, just as you do. Unlike many of your friends and comrads fighting beside you over there, you have your daughter's love, baby Valorie's love, my love, the love of your very big, warm family: including your super terrific Mom and Dad, all of your incredible sisters and brothers who are always here for you and will remain here for you, every day of your life. And, in your heart, also unlike many who are there with you, you know that you also always have God's love. Without question and without waiver, each and every day of your life, no matter what. Unlike many of your comrads, you have God's army here and in heaven to support you, there and when you come home. We will all be here for you as you heal and as you seek you way through the each of the next phases of your life. As you discover and grown into the man you wish to become. As you sew the seeds of your potential and the special magic that God has long ago planted within your soul. Mgic that He is just waiting to burst forth. These times, while you are over there at war, although they are very, very hard, must be cast upon you to sharpen your skills and build within you a strength of mind and character which God must feel that you will someday need to call upon at some point or points as you walk the destiny of your future life. I am not sure why you need these skills or that level of strength, but I feel certain that God would not test you so fiercely unless He knew something we do not. Unless He wanted you to be fully prepared. So, while these times may be hard, even perhaps brutal, take some comfort in knowing that, in your future, what you go through now will certainly serve you well. Try to turn the pain over to God and let Him share this burden. He loves you very much and you can take cover in His protection. We all worry about you and anxiously wait for your return. We are sad at your suffering. We wish that we could help. I hope that you will take some comfort in knowing that we will all stand beside you and provide you with every opportunity when you get back. I promise that I, for one, will help you find you destiny in life, regardless of how long it takes. As long as you are truly searching with your heart for God's plan, I will make sure you have the time and opportunity to find what He has in store for your life (and which I know will ultimately make you very, very happy and cause you to feel fullfilled and at peace.) Now, I hope that I have not used all the cyber space on your blog. Let me end this by saying again, that I love you and I am very proud of you. Please stay safe and write me if you can or have time. Love, Aunt, Valorie
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